I recently saw a post on social media that said “shout out to girls who smile at and compliment other girls” and it resonated with me. It immediately reminded me of the people I keep close to me. I appreciate people who can communicate their feelings in an honest way; my closest girlfriends are very open when it comes to giving compliments and rarely put other people down. There’s something so comforting about people who can be vulnerable without even realizing it; they’re just being their positive selves in a beautiful fearless way.
Let’s just take a moment to imagine a world where we say how we feel in a positive way without fear or overthinking it…
This post reminded me of something that happened recently (and it happens all the time); a friend complimented another friend on a new haircut and three other women chimed in about how much they loved it too. It got me thinking, why didn’t the other women say how they felt in the moment? Why did it take one person to give a compliment for the other three to say something? Is it because our heads are so busy that the thought slips away before we take the time to say something? Is it a competition thing or maybe a fear of rejection? Maybe it has something to do with an inability to fully accept a compliment ourselves? That’s a whole other post topic…why is it so hard to take a compliment??
So, is it our inability to be attentive and in the moment or is it fear based?
As my brain kept pondering, I realized I hardly hear men compliment each other either. When was the last time you heard a guy say “you have great eyes, bro” to another guy? I don’t ever recall witnessing such a scenario! Then I thought about how often I hear people compliment the opposite sex compared to their own gender. That just made me more inquisitive; is it some primal fear of competition or rejection engrained in us subconsciously?
Your world is a complete reflection of what you focus on; positive or negative.
Why is it so normal to go around complaining and venting with the excuse that we just need to “get it out” or “off our chest”, but the beautiful words that could make someone’s day aren’t itching to come out the same way?
How great does it feel when someone says you have beautiful eyes, they love your laugh or when they mention anything they find irresistible or endearing about you? How about how good it feels to give a compliment and see someone’s face light up…! Think about how many times something frustrated you, and you had to “get it out”, compared to how many times you freely gave a compliment.
I decided to focus on complimenting people some time ago and it’s entirely changed how I treat others, and surprisingly, how I feel about myself.
I started by simply making a conscious effort to compliment people more and not verbalize anything negative that popped into my head. It got easier, and you know what? The positive thoughts started to grow and the negative thoughts started to wither away.
So, I pose this question; do people have a hard time complimenting others out of fear, because of some innate competitive nature, or do we just have a hard time being present in the moment long enough to acknowledge verbally what’s on our mind? Either way, I challenge you to spend the next few days without saying anything negative and giving as many free compliments as you can. I think you’ll be amazed at how things will change in you and the world you live in. Remember, we rise by lifting others!