Fear comes in many forms.
It’s not easy, but if we let go of fear we can live our best life. We may fear losing something or someone, missing out on something and even making the wrong decision. Sometimes we fear competition, the unknown, change, failure or even success. Jealousy, anger, sadness and anxiety all stem from fear. The list goes on, fear causes many of our negative emotions and can end up being the determining factor in many of the decisions we make.
Sometimes people get jealous, or put other people down, to justify allowing their own fear to keep them from doing what they want.
Everybody lives in their own dream reality. We walk around with ideas of how things should be, and with expectations based on our own life experiences. When we let go of fear we’re free to be who we really are.
I think all of us have confided in someone about a dream or goal, only to have it knocked down, questioned or to hear every reason why it won’t work out. It’s important to consider the source in situations like this. Sometimes simply asking if their values match yours is enough to put things into perspective and distinguish fear. What are their opinions based on? I’m not telling you to judge others, to each their own, I’m simply suggesting that you ask yourself if this person’s life goals are in line with yours, or are you allowing someone who lives in their own fear to determine how you feel about your dreams?
Anger, sadness, anxiety and jealousy all come from the fear of not getting something we want.
Sometimes people don’t really know what they want. They’re simply unhappy with their life in general and nothing makes them happy. These people typically can’t stand to see others happy, not because they’re bad people, they’re just unhappy and will utilize every opportunity to put others down. When we have a dream or a goal it’s important to remember that comparing ourselves to others can affect our own self-confidence. When we take other people’s negative opinions personally we’re left feeling inadequate, or unworthy. Believing other people’s negative comments is not the fuel you need to empower yourself to succeed, and we’re all capable of success.
When you begin to question your abilities, try some of these tips to break through the fear and start to live your best life!
- Don’t think about the massive goal and all the work it will take to get there. Stop and think about some smaller things you can do to get the ball rolling. It may not even be specific things, just ask yourself, “what can I do for 10 minutes today to get closer to my goal?” or “is what I’m doing now going to get me one step closer to what I want?”
- Remember that fear is the pointer of your next adventure! How many times were you afraid to try something and then felt invigorated after you finally did it? Try and remember a time when you pushed through fear and how it felt. Then hold onto that feeling and embrace it!
- Reach out to a supportive friend or family member. There have been many times I was in fear of trying something new. Opening up about my ideas and thoughts allowed me to get the push I needed from a close friend who I knew had my best interest in mind. When we’re living in fear we create delusions in our head, and make up stories about what might happen, feeding the fear. Talking out loud to someone close to you can bring light to how silly your fear may sound, and supportive words from people you care about can be motivating and empowering.
- Don’t compare yourself to others. Worrying that someone might be better, smarter or faster than you is only the fear in your head attempting to talk you out of trying. Also, don’t procrastinate – you’re just feeding the fear. Remember to ask yourself “is what I’m doing now getting me closer to what I want?” Most of the time we procrastinate because we fear failing, or having to follow through. That reminds me, I have some exercise goals I’m slacking on getting started…I’ll start tomorrow!
- JUST DO IT! The best slogan ever. Just get started…this is the best advice I’ve ever received. I was chatting with someone at a meeting. We were talking about our creative outlets (he’s been quite successful in his) and I told him I’ve always wanted to write. He said “just do it!”…being the planner I am, I quickly followed up with “yeah, I’m going to do some research this weekend on how to get started.” He looked at me again and said “just do it.”; something clicked in that moment and I just did it. Here I am writing this blog, 2 states away from everything I know. What’s the harm in trying?
- Now, fear of failure. Remember, failing is not the end of the world and you never truly fail until you stop trying. We have hiccups along the way but, I truly believe we can do anything we put our mind to and our heart in. When something doesn’t work out it’s not failure; it just means you tweak your approach and try again until you find out what does. Failure is the best teacher.
- Get used to failure and success. When you just go for what you want, sometimes you’ll succeed and sometimes you’ll fail. The beauty is the more you try the more you’ll get used to not getting what you want and it’ll be easier to try again. When you do succeed you’ll find yourself chasing that amazing feeling and it’ll far outweigh the fear of failure. Ask the girl out, go for the promotion at work or speak up about what restaurant you want to go to tonight. When you go for what you want you build confidence and confidence breeds success.
Don’t take negative comments personally. Surround yourself with positive and uplifting people. Be careful with the things you tell yourself; negative self-talk is terrible for your self-worth.
You don’t have to do everything the best, but as long as you’re doing your best you’re bound to succeed! Remember, your world is responding to who you believe you are!