The Beautiful Journey
When I decided to start this blog I wasn’t sure what direction it was going to go; I just knew I wanted to write and needed an outlet. As my motivation has evolved so has this blog. I decided to put what I’ve learned in sobriety about acceptance, compassion and self-love into my writing.
If I can help just one person come from the depths I experienced it’ll be worth the love and effort. I hope my experience, and the things I’ve learned along my journey, are as helpful to you as they have been to me.
In March of 2015 I was living in the suburbs outside Seattle. I was 4 years divorced from a 15 year marriage, the mother of a grown son and was battling with alcoholism. I knew I needed to do something different. I wanted a beautiful life, full of hope and gratitude, I just didn’t know where to begin. Without fear, and in full acceptance that I had no idea where I would end up in 2 weeks, I put in my notice at work packed my car and drove for 2 days to southern California. It was oddly enough the easiest decision I have ever made.
When I left Seattle I was lost…I didn’t know who I was or what I wanted in life. Today I realize that was who I was. That was my sense of self…lost and living in fear. I was totally unconscious and drifting through life. Never making any decision without over-analyzing every possible outcome. Always weighing what others would think or how the way I lived would be perceived by the world. As if the whole world was waiting to judge me based on what personal decisions I made. My self-esteem was in the garbage and I was battling anxiety and bouts of depression. I felt like I was never free to be me but, it turns out I had given myself that life sentence…I was the judge. I was living in a self-created cycle of fear and negativity. This sudden move 2 states away from everything I “knew” was exactly what I needed to awaken my senses.
Although I had begun some work internally for a couple years, I was just stuck. The help I sought in Seattle was no comparison to what I’ve learned about loving myself this past year. I’ve created a personal toolkit that provides me with a positive outlook in every situation. Today I have a beautiful career, amazing friends and compassion for others I never thought was possible. Most importantly, today I love and fully accept all of me. Because of this I’m able to give and accept love freely, without fear and that is an amazing gift!